I can’t tell you how blessed I have been this past week, but I can tell you that I was dreading this week like the plague. I have known for several months now that we were going to be hosting ten pastors from across the nation who would be with us for three days, but I didn’t realize that their visit would come at a most inconvenient time. During the week before their arrival I could not get my mind off all that needed to be done and all that would be left undone for three days while I would be with the group. If I could have had my way, if I could have somehow changed the plan, then I would have told the ministers that we really should do this some other time. I am so glad that I did not have the freedom to cancel what God had ordained.
I felt it creeping in. I hadn’t eaten all day but I felt heavy. My heart hung low within me. I couldn’t muster the energy to lift the corners of my mouth to smile. The darkness was so heavy I couldn’t lift my arms to free myself. Friends tried to console me, but my heart was silent. I tried to fight but I wore myself out and collapsed into a dark hole. Fear gripped me and I wasn’t even sure what I was afraid of? It seemed like I was growing afraid of everything. News reports made me leery of those around me. Health reports caused me to wonder if I would come down with some horrible disease. Financial reports made me worry if I would lose my job and end up on the street. What is happening to me? I know in my head that I’m making this mouse out to be a monster. I know that I can’t live my life in fear of what “could” happen. I know that my problems are not overwhelming, but why am I overwhelmed? I know that I can manage, but why does my life seem so unmanageable? I really don’t have anything to be depressed about, not now any way, but why am I so down? I know that I should hang in there, but oh if I could just get away. If I could just leave this world of sorrow and sadness and fly away…away from it all. A man named David wrote in his journal one day.