The School of Agape 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

We began our study of 1 Corinthians 13 back before Christmas. I want us to go back and take a look at verses 4-7 this morning so we can focus on four little verses that highlight the qualities of love. Even though the entire chapter is about love, these four verses are different from verses 1-3 or 8-13. Let me explain what I mean. In verses 1-3, Paul shows us the emptiness of spiritual gifts when they are exercised apart from love. In verse 1, Paul writes,

1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. (1 Corinthians 13:1 NIV)

The people of Corinth placed so much of an emphasis on speaking in tongues, but Paul let them know that having the gift of speaking in tongues, but lacking love would always result in nothing more than making noise. The people of Corinth didn’t value the proclamation of the Word of God, or prophecy, nearly as much as Paul. When we come to 1 Corinthians 14 we’ll see how Paul placed the gift of prophecy, or proclaiming God’s Word, at the top of the list of gifts that the church should pursue for the building up of the body of Christ. But even with this important gift, if a person spoke God’s Word, but lacked love–that person was nothing. In verse 2 he also included the gift of faith. Paul said that a person who had such strong faith that they could move mountains, but who was lacking in love was also nothing. Last of all, in verse 3, Paul highlighted those who had a passion and a burden for the poor and those who were willing to undergo persecution for the cause of Christ. If you emptied your house of every belonging, but lacked love–you wouldn’t gain one thing. If you literally gave your life for the cause of Christ, but lacked love, the kind of love we will take a look at in verses 4-7, then once again, you will gain nothing. So, in the opening verses of 1 Corinthians 13, we see the emptiness of spiritual gifts when they are exercised apart from love. In verses 4-7, Paul lays out the fullness of love’s perfect qualities for you and me. The description of “agape” love is so beautiful, so powerful, and anyone who will take the time to really study and meditate on these qualities will be overwhelmed by how far short they fall from living out these qualities of love. Let’s read our Scripture together and then we will see what we can learn. 

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV)

I bet you noticed, as we were reading through the descriptions of love, that Paul lists both the things love “does” and the things love “doesn’t do.” Paul begins, in verse 4, with two positive descriptions: “Love is patient and kind.” Paul then lists eight negative actions that love never does: “Love is not envious or boastful or prideful; it does not dishonor others and is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered and love keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil.”  In verses 6-7, Paul goes back to listing the positive qualities of love, five of them in these two verses: “Love rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.” Now, I want you to remember, all fifteen of these descriptions are verbs, they are action words, and they are all in the present tense, they are continuous actions. Wouldn’t it be nice if, when one becomes a follower of Jesus, the Holy Spirit sprinkled us with “love dust,” we slipped into autopilot, and from that day forward we acted according to Paul’s description of love?  You and I both know this is not the case. We continue to wrestle with our flesh each and every day. We continue to be impatient and unkind. We continue to be envious, arrogant, and prideful.  So what are we to do? Richard Hays has written a wonderful commentary on 1 Corinthians 13 and what he writes about these qualities of love is so important for us to understand. Richard Hays says that the cultivation of love are “learned patterns of behavior that must be cultivated over time in the context of a community that models and supports such behavior.” He writes,

Love is not just a matter of feelings: feelings come and go, while love abides. Paul's description of the attributes of love [in 1 Corinthians 13] offers a picture of habitual actions and dispositions. One cannot merely decide in a day's time to start doing these things. They are learned patterns of behavior that must be cultivated over time in the context of a community that models and supports such behavior…the church should be a school for the cultivation of these habits and practices. (Hays, Richard B., First Corinthians (Louisville, John Knox Press, 1997) p. 232-233.)

This is so exciting to me! If you want to develop the biblical qualities of love then you need a context where love is being modeled and lived out. This makes perfect sense. If you want to be a doctor then you should go to medical school. If you want to be a plumber then you need to go to VoTech and then find a plumber that you can apprentice with until you are able to go out on your own. The context of being surrounded by people who possess the skills you desire is vitally important to your own growth. You need a context where what you desire to learn is being taught. The Lord has provided the context, a school of love if you will, and it is the local church, if the church will commit to being a training center of love. I say, “if” because the original recipients of Paul’s letter, the church in Corinth, was anything but a training center for love for its members. Many Bible teachers have pointed out that Paul, in these verses, is praising love while blaming the Corinthians. David Garland writes,

They are impatient and unkind, filled with jealousy, vainglorious, and puffed up. They insist on their own way, are cantankerous and resentful, and rejoicing with wrong rather than right. (Garland, David. pg. 616)

This is true of the church in Corinth, but it doesn’t have to be true of Britton Christian Church. Just imagine the opportunity before us? Imagine if the oldest among us as well the youngest made the commitment to walk in love, to practice being patient and kind with one another? Imagine if we went out of our way to honor the other members of our church, young and old alike, rich and poor alike, those with GED’s as well as those with a Ph.D. or M.D., rather than seek the spotlight for ourselves? Imagine how incredible it would be if, when we got crossways with one another, we were willing to forgive one another to the degree that we absolutely refuse to keep scorecards on one another. Just imagine? Can you imagine being part of a group of people whose focus is to look out for one another, to protect one another?  What if we decided to implicitly trust one another? We live in a society that doubts we’ll do anything, doubts we’ll accomplish anything, and is quite sure that we’re going to stumble and fall again and again. How would it affect us if we were surrounded by people who believed in us, stood with us, and always held out hope for us? Last of all, can you imagine how powerful it would be for you and me to be surrounded by people who were willing to persevere with us when times get tough? We can do more than imagine. We can begin to walk in love, to act in love towards those around us right here at BCC. Are you ready to sign-up? Are you ready to commit to living “present tense” in a way that reflects the love Paul has described for you and me? This is not a New Year’s resolution self-improvement program–it is a discipleship program. I would like to connect you to someone at our church who embodies all of these qualities, but that person doesn’t exist. All of us are students and not teachers when it comes to the school of agape love. When we read through 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 it is obvious that we don’t clear the bar of agape love. I had a friend lead me in an exercise many years ago that I’ve used in marriage counseling in times past. Here, you can do the exercise with me. Let’s read these verses again and every time “love” appears, replace “love” with your own name. 

4 Love (Mike) is patient, love (Mike) is kind. It (Mike) does not envy, it (Mike) does not boast, it (Mike) is not proud. 5 It (Mike) does not dishonor others, it (Mike) is not self-seeking, it (Mike) is not easily angered, it (Mike) keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love (Mike) does not delight in evil but (Mike) rejoices with the truth. 7 It (Mike) always protects, (Mike) always trusts, (Mike) always hopes, (Mike) always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV)

Let me tell you, nothing could be further from the truth. I’m much more like the folks in Corinth than the description of love we’ve just read. I don’t know of anybody who would say they check all of the boxes when it comes to this description of love. So, what do we do? Where can we turn for help? I have the perfect solution and His name is Jesus.  If we were to go back and do the same exercise one more time, but this time we substituted “Jesus” for “love” then you would find that Jesus absolutely fulfills every attribute of love listed by Paul in these verses. Jesus is patient and kind. Jesus keeps no record of wrongs. Jesus always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Jesus is the embodiment of every single aspect of agape love that Paul has written about in 1 Corinthians 13. If you were to read the qualities of love to someone and then ask, “Would you like for this type of love to characterize your own life?” I think it is safe to say that the vast majority of people would say, “Absolutely!” Who wouldn’t want to be patient and kind to others? Who wouldn’t want to be an encourager of those around them instead of envious of others? Yet, this is not even close to what we are experiencing in our day is it? Our culture has an inherent discipleship component to it, but the lessons we are taught by our culture are the opposite of agape described by Paul. This is why the local church is so important in discipling boys and girls, men and women in the ways of God. Richard Hays is absolutely right when he says that you and I are in a perfect situation, in a local church, to begin to model and practice agape towards one another. The disciple making process was taking place in Jesus’ day. The students, who were called talmid in Hebrew, had a passion to become like their rabbi. They wanted more than to simply know what their rabbi knew, they wanted to be like their rabbi. Ray Vander Laan writes,

These students were called talmidim (talmid, s.) in Hebrew, which is translated disciple. There is much more to a talmid than what we call a student. A student wants to know what the teacher knows for the grade, to complete the class or the degree or even out of respect for the teacher. A talmid wants to be like the teacher, that is to become what the teacher is. That meant that students were passionately devoted to their rabbi and noted everything he did or said. This meant the rabbi-talmid relationship was a very intense and personal system of education. As the rabbi lived and taught his understanding of the Scripture his students (talmidim) listened and watched and imitated so as to become like him. Eventually they would become teachers passing on a lifestyle to their talmidim. (Vander Laan, Ray. That the World May Know).

The talmid set out to imitate everything about their rabbi. They wanted to walk like he walked. They wanted to talk like he talked. When the rabbi would sit down to eat a meal, the talmid would do everything they could to replicate the way their rabbi even ate his meals. It was not enough to simply know and be able to parrot back what the rabbi knew, they wanted more than anything to become like the rabbi. Jesus never hesitated to let His disciples know the cost involved in following Him. In John 6 we read that Jesus’ teaching was too hard for some to hear and so they turned back and no longer followed Jesus. Read John 6:66-69 with me.

66 From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. 67 "You do not want to leave too, do you?" Jesus asked the Twelve. 68 Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. 69 We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God." (John 6:66-69 NIV)

When the crowd turned away Jesus asked His disciples, “You do not want to leave too, do you?” There were many times Peter stuck his foot in his mouth, but this wasn’t one of them. Peter, in effect, said, “We have nowhere else to go! You are the Holy One of God!” That’s the mark of a true disciple. There is nothing that has changed between that moment and this moment that you and I are sharing right now. Jesus still calls us to forsake all others. He demands our absolute devotion to Him above all others. We have lowered the bar on what it means to be a follower of Jesus so that you can basically say you believe in God and that’s good enough for us. Yet, Jesus still speaks to those who want to follow Him to let them know…

24 …Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. (Matthew 16:24-25 NIV)

I feel the need to highlight the demands of Jesus for those who want to follow Him because any less of a commitment to Jesus will surely result in nothing but frustration and disappointment in living the Christian life. It’s like a person who says “I want to be a great football player or tennis player,” but anytime something more fun or interesting comes along they choose the fun instead of the discipline of going to practice every day and putting in the work. That person will be frustrated and disappointed with their lack of progress. Our Scripture before us this morning is a great example of the total commitment it is going to take for us to live out agape love in our relationships with one another and with others outside of our church family. Why is it that agape love is so scarce in our day? The answer is quite simple, it does not come naturally to you and me. Agape love is “other oriented” while the love we possess is “self-oriented.” If you and I want to begin to cultivate the qualities of agape love into your life then we must do two things:First, we must experience agape and the way we begin to experience agape is to draw ever closer to Jesus, the One who is the embodiment of agape. Let me explain what I mean. We read in verse 5, “Love keeps no record of wrongs.” You and I both know that when it comes to our relationship with others this is the furthest thing from the truth. We all know that we can recall one another’s sins as far back as childhood and we are more than willing to use what others have done when it will benefit us. Husbands and wives, the closest of all of our relationships, are notorious for record keeping. But remember, I said that if we want to begin to experience agape we must draw ever close to Jesus. This is our first priority. Let me show you some Scripture that illustrates this truth for you and me. Turn with me to 1 John 1:7-9 and let’s read together. 

7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. 8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:7-9 NIV)

Did you hear that? “The blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.” If we will acknowledge our sin, agree that we have sinned, then He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. In Hebrews 8:12 we read,

12 “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more." (Hebrews 8:12 NIV)

“I will remember their sins no more.” No more, never to be brought up again. Can you imagine how wonderful it would be if we all treated one another’s sin in the same way the Lord treats our sins? The closer we draw to Jesus, the more we experience His grace and mercy, and His unwillingness to keep a record of our wrongs, the more we should be moved and motivated to treat one another in the same way. Let me share just one more Scripture with us this morning about this subject. Turn with me to Psalm 103:10-12. 

10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. 11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; 12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. (Psalm 103:10-12 NIV)

His love for you and me is what compelled God to send His Son and take our sins on Himself. He has done for you and me what we could never do for ourselves. He paid the price for our redemption. He suffered the penalty of the Cross for our deliverance. It is His love which moved Him to remove our sins as far as the east is from the west. Maybe you noticed that the Scripture we just read, Psalm 103:10-12, is from the Hebrew Bible, the Old Testament. It was written long before Jesus was ever born. So, is it really far to say that this love, this forgiveness, this willingness to remove our sins as far as the east is from the west can be applied to Jesus? That’s a great question and the answer is “Absolutely Yes!” When Jesus was born He was the Incarnation of everything God the Father was throughout eternity. Turn with me to 1 John 4:9-11 and let’s read together.

9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. (1 John 4:9-11 NIV)

The lovingkindness of God the Father was made manifest through the life of Jesus. Jesus was God’s love, compassion, mercy, grace, and faithfulness with skin on for everyone to see. The more you and I will draw near to Jesus, the more we will experience the truth of His love and forgiveness, complete forgiveness. Here’s a problem that I’ve seen over and over again throughout the years I’ve been walking with the Lord. We are more than willing to receive God’s forgiveness. We are more than willing to believe that God would never keep a record of our wrongs. We are more than willing to believe that God would deal graciously with us, but we are not so willing to deal with others in the same way. Yet, we read, “Love keeps no record of wrongs.” On the night when Jesus was preparing to go to the cross, He shared the Passover meal with His disciples. When they arrived at the place where they would share the meal, Jesus took a tub of water and a towel, and He washed the feet of His disciples. It should have never happened. The God of glory come to earth had no business washing the nasty feet of those disciples, yet when Jesus finished He said, 

15 I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. (John 13:15 NIV)

If you want to follow the Rabbi then you must not only believe as He believes, but you and I must do as He has done. A little later in John 13, Jesus told His disciples,

34 "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:34-35 NIV)

This leads us to the second thing we must do if we want to begin to see agape love begin to grow and dominate our daily lives. First, we must draw near to Jesus where we will experience agape love. Second, we must begin to practice agape in our daily lives. Those early followers of Jesus took Jesus’ word to heart and so must we. There will be a million excuses available to you and me, but we must keep our eyes on Jesus and follow in His steps. Paul wrote to the church in Colossae,

13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Colossians 3:13-14 NIV)

It is my prayer that we will become a school of agape in 2022. I pray that we will recognize the weak, fragile, selfish love exhibited in our society and that we will fix our hearts and minds on the agape love of Jesus that we have so freely received throughout our entire lives. Let’s honor one another, be patient with one another, protect one another, not become easily angered with one another, and believe in one another. Can you imagine a church where this type of love was lived-out day-in and day-out? I’d join a church like that!  Mike HaysBritton Christian Church922 NW 91stOKC, OK. 73114January 16, 2022